There once was a “Stone Soup Man......

There once was a “Stone Soup Man” and here is how he became the “Stone Soup Man”.

He had no money and he was very hungry. There was nobody offering to help as most people in the town were also poor so. One day he had an idea. He picked up a stone from the ground and knocked on a door.

When the house owner answered, he asked her if he could make her the world’s best soup for free. Free was great because she was also poor so she invited him in to make it. He got a pot from her and added some water and the stone. While it was cooking he said, ‘this soup is already going to be the best soup you ever had, but, it would be even better with a carrot’. The woman agreed and brought carrots from her garden to him.

Then he said, ‘wow, it smells so good I can hardly wait. You know what would make this even better; some potatoes’. The woman goes and gets potatoes and he puts that in. He keeps getting her to add ingredients including some chicken.

Soon they have a big pot of chicken stew with a stone in it. The woman agreed that it was the best soup she had ever tasted. The man went on his way with his stone, a full belly and left the woman thinking he had done her a big favor.

I am always intrigued by how this faceless guy (we don't even know his name) out of nothing, got a full stomach, and not just that, in the process he also made a woman feel very good like she got so much for free even though 100% of the ingredients were from her.

The bottom line is you can always make something out of nothing, and if you offer people the possibility of what they can be, they will be willing to give you anything you ask for. If you can make them see where they can be from where they are presently, people will make their own dreams come true and give you the credit for it. Most time the issue is not what they don’t have, it’s what they don’t see – possibility.

You can’t help people lead their lives, manage their finances, build their relationships, but if you can help them see the possibilities ahead of them, if you can make other people feel better, render services that unveil to them what they could be, take them from where they are, to where they never thought they could be and offer a shoulder of support along the way till they find their foot, you will be the hero of their heart, for life.

In doing good for others, you are doing same for yourself, becoming a better person yourself by adding value to the others around you. You can’t be worse off for being good, you can’t better others and remain mere good yourself. Helping others lit their candle with yours doesn’t diminish your light; it only makes the world brighter.

I hope you get the point of the story. I know this is true. I am in the business of selling possibilities. This is a TOAST to all the Soup Men out there, who sell their soup through the pot of a blog, a book, motivational speaking, coaching and counselling....... (the list is endless) and to future Soup Men; including YOU (I hope you'd create more varieties of pots and better stone soups).

This post is dedicated to Opeyemi Aregbesola a dear and great friend. In her I see the future.

WHO IS THE NEXT IDIOT?

As I walked into the class room to teach my weekly class on Life Skills, I was confronted by the tense atmosphere which was unusual. It turned out there had been an altercation just before I came in. A student had called another names, and this had led to a heated exchange.

It was pointless trying to teach under such atmosphere, so I was forced to drop my planned lesson. I decided to tell a story instead, stories are a winner any day.

I shared the story of a very interesting movie I had seen titled 3 idiots, trying my best to make it as concise and appealing as possible to their teen imagination. By the way, if you have yet to see that movie, I think you might as well still be in the 18th century [winks].

I squeezed the three hour movie into about 20 minutes, holding my audience spellbound. I explained why the three friends were considered idiots and how their philosophies though unpopular, led them to success. And I inspired them to chase after excellence and watch success chase them ‘pants down’ as the lead character in the movie had posited.

When I was done, I declared that I was The Fourth Idiot! A din ensued, almost immediately. Of course by the time I finished my story, they had all bought into the idea and were all excited as each one tried securing their place in the idiot list, each trying to beat others to an earlier place. I heard three of them haggling over which of them was the fifth idiot, with claim and counter claim on why he was the rightful owner of the 5th position, meanwhile other students kept calling out, ‘I am the 6th idiot’, ‘I am the 7th idiot’......., as each one sought to find his/her place. The entire class had turned idiotic!

I had them where I wanted them, now I could teach them the important lesson which gave rise to the story in the first place. My point is paraphrased below:

Ordinarily, they would have fought anyone who called them an idiot, but now they all desired to be one willingly! Why? Because I played a trick on your minds to reframe the meaning of the word idiot.

Words aren’t really worth much. It’s not about what is said, it’s about the meaning and interpretation you give to words.
Idiot in one context would mean an insult, however in another context, it is a desired virtue and label everyone wants.

Words have no meaning or power safe the ones you give them. You can determine what words mean to you and as such how you react to them.

And not just words, but any  circumstance in life. You need to know you are in charge. You call the shot and stop being at the mercy of circumstances and situations around you. You might not be able to control what people say about you or do to you but you can determine how you react to it.

People are responsible for their words, but you are responsible for the interpretations that you give to their words. People are responsible for their words, but you are responsible for your reactions to the words you hear. Like the quintessential Eleanor Roosevelt said, nobody has the power to hurt you except you give them the power to (paraphrased). When someone uses an unpleasant word on you, or treats you unkind, change the meaning, rationalize it to the positive. When you fail to react like they want you to, then you are the winner, and you retain your personal power.

If you don’t control and determine your reactions to life, you will end up being toss around by people and events and there is only one place that guarantees you as destination – nowhere.

As you face the days ahead, challenges will surely come your way. Decide you'll be the one in charge and not cede ground to external influences. Then you'll realize you are very powerful!
Do greatness

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LESSONS FROM THE LIFE OF MALALA YOUSAFAI

Malala Yousafai is the young Pakistani girl who took the world by storm for her activism. Below are lessons to glean from her life.

1. Stars shine brightest at night. Your hard times are not an excuse for mediocrity, they are instead you reason for shining. Malala grew under one of the most detestable regime – the Taliban. Television was banned, so was music, girls’ education, and women were also banned from going shopping.

2. You must be willing to take some measure of risk. A long average life lived without adventure or achievement is one of the worst things that have befallen mankind. Malala was aware of the risk that laid in speaking out for the education of the girl child against the Taliban, but the Pakistani girls needed a voice, and Malala chose to lend them hers in in spite of the risk to her.

3. What do you see? In early 2009, Taliban militants were taking over the Swat Valley [the region where Malala and family lived] her father who ran a school for girls was asked by a BBC reporter, if any girl at his school would write a blog about life under the Taliban. A girl named Aisha was the best person for the task, and agreed to write, but then her parents stopped her from doing it because they feared Taliban reprisals. The only alternative was Malala, four years younger than Aisha, and in seventh grade at the time. It was this blog that gave young Malala, prominence and made her a Taliban target. Aisha and parents saw something to fear, Malala and parent saw a chance to shine.

4. Until you are willing to die for something, you don’t have reason enough to live. When asked about the death threats she got continually, Malala said: ‘I think of it often and imagine the scene clearly. Even if they come to kill me, I will tell them what they are trying to do is wrong, that education is our basic right’.

5. Whatever doesn’t kill you, will only serve to make you stronger. On 9 October 2012, Malala was shot in the head and neck in an assassination attempt by Taliban gunmen while returning home on a school bus. The Taliban bullet was meant to stop her life and her work, but instead it shot her to global fame.

6. Start with what you have, where you are. Take small step where you are. Stay faithful at it and you will see greater doors open up to you. Malala didn’t set out to be a heroine, she just wanted to make the kind of difference a young girl can make in a female marginalized world. Long before the BBC offer, she’s been writing and speaking about the issue of female education.

7. You have to live for something bigger than you. Let your life mean something to someone, somewhere in the world. let your.life influence even people you'd never get to meet, let your legacy travel through generations. 

8. You need role models and mentors, they play a great part in determining your success. Malala was lucky, she found one in her dad. Malala was deeply inspired in her activism by her father who ran schools for girl education before it was shut down by the Taliban. He spoke out about them and got death threats for his stance. The experience got Malala committed to becoming a politician and not a doctor, as she had once aspired to be.

9. The important thing is not what happens TO you, it’s what happens IN you. "The terrorists thought they would change my aims and stop my ambitions, but nothing changed in my life except this: weakness, fear and hopelessness died. Strength, power and courage was born ... I am not against anyone, neither am I here to speak in terms of personal revenge against the Taliban or any other terrorist group. I'm here to speak up for the right of education for every child. I want education for the sons and daughters of the Taliban and all terrorists and extremists." – Malala’s speech at the UN, 12 July 2013 her 16th birthday

10. A great deal of good can come out of something seemingly unpleasant experience: The assassination attempt received worldwide media coverage and produced an outpouring of sympathy and anger. Protests against the shooting were held in several Pakistani cities the day after and over 2 million people signed the Right to Education campaign's petition, which led to ratification of the first Right to Education Bill in Pakistan. Angelina Jolie donated $200,000 to The Malala Fund for girls education. Indian director Amjad Khan announced that he would be making a biographical film based on Malala. Even in your down time there is yet a great deal of good you can do. In  2013 Malala was hosted by president Obama and first lady Michelle Obama at the White House.

11. Your point of pain is an indication to your purpose: On 15 October 2012, UN Special Envoy for Global Education former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, launched a petition titled "I am Malala". The petition's main demand was that there be no children left out of school by 2015, with the hope that "girls like Malala everywhere will soon be going to school. Can you imagine that it took a girl living in female subdued and relegated society and denied education to give hope to the world's 61 million out-of-school children.

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YOUR CHOCOLATE FACTORY

CHARLIE WAS THE LUCKIEST BOY IN THE WORLD, BUT HE DID NOT KNOW IT……YET

One of the best movies I’ve seen is titled ‘Charlie and the chocolate factory’. At the start, the voice-over introduced the main character in the movie – Charlie, [a poor but well raised young boy who had nothing but the warmth and love of family] and then made a profound statement ‘Charlie is the most lucky boy in the whole world, but he did not know it YET’!

How profound! And the rest of the movie went ahead to prove that single point - that Charlie was lucky and even though he was poor and lived in a decrepit house with his parents and both paternal and maternal grandparents, yet he was the richest boy in the world, even though nothing of his present condition or reality bore any indication to that fact.

Through a streak of events, Charlie met the incredible Mr. Willie Wonka. Mr. Wonka’s factories produced the best chocolate bars in the world, and he had automated his factory so no one can steal his recipes and lived in as a recluse. He had a monopoly all over the world and that made him ‘stinkinly’ wealthy.

Charlie was one of the ten lucky children Mr. Wonka decided open up his factory to. One by one Mr. Wonka sent the children home as they disregarded the rules of the game over the days. In the end Charlie was the last man standing. And unannounced Mr. Wonka willed all his fortunes and estates to young Charlie. And so one can now understand the voice over at the start that Charlie was the luckiest young man alive but he wasn’t aware. Well in the end he became aware of it.

All he was and had in the future awaited him and were his [even though he was yet poor] as long as he stood true to his values. As long as Charlie remained Charlie nothing stood in the way of his greatness.

And this is my word to you my dear reader as you go through, life no matter the path it may take you through never lose touch of whom you are. Say a big fat ‘NO’ to conformity. I promise you, greatness awaits you at the end of it all. Never lose sight of your destination never for a moment doubt it in your heart that greatness lies ahead of you.

When you hit the rough patch on life’s path, just imagine that you are on a trip with Mr. Wonka, and unlike Charlie who was not aware of what lay ahead, you know right from the start that there is a ‘chocolate factory’ [Whatever chocolate factory mean to you] and good fortune awaiting you at the end of it all if you do not lose faith. That should be your attitude to life! So face your life and the years ahead with courage and determination and a positive attitude. Stay true to your convictions, be your best and nothing less. You are GREAT! You just haven’t manifested it yet! Yes! You can do it, and you will. God is counting on you and so are your grand children [winks]. I am counting on you too.

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Heart Not Head 3

Heart Not Head 3
The height of the civil rights movement, and its pivotal point seemed to be Dr. King’s famous “I Have a Dream” speech. Those of us born post that era knew the phrase “I Have A Dream’ before we had an inkling that there was any such thing as the civil rights movement. Indeed “I Have A Dream’ has taken on a life of its own, and come to mean more to people than just the context in which Dr. King enunciated those words, standing on that platform, some fifty years ago.
But that is not the speech he almost gave. As Dr. King mounted up the platform in front of 250,000 civil rights supporters, he carried in his pocket a speech entitled “Normalcy, Never Again.” The words we know today are not the well-rehearsed words read from a page, but they are inspired words straight from the heart of a man possessed with a passion and purpose that was more than life itself. In one fleeting moment, Dr. King had to make a choice of which to go for; his HEAD with the well crafted speech worked upon by several of his associates the night before, or his HEART which longed to sell a dream on Americans and indeed humanity. It was a battle that was oblivious to all around as Dr. King churned out words in his oratory sagacity. But he made the right choice, and history has never been the same since the time. It was a battle won. It was Dr. King’s gift to the world. Dr. King was as just one out of 16 other speakers that mounted the platform that day, but you can understand why it was his speech that has transcended history.
When you come upon such times as you definitely will, when you are to make a choice, let your heart led the way. Maybe not be as overtly as Dr. King before an audience of a quarter of a million souls, but far reaching all the same, because your choices will affect generations down the line. Follow your hearts call; to thyself be true, this is the hallmark of the truly great.
Do greatness this March!

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SORRY, TIME WON?T HEAL YOUR WOUND!

I'm sure you've heard the saying; time heals the greatest wound. Well nothing can be farther from the truth. Time heals no wound, it doesn't have curative abilities. It is what you do to the wound in the process of time that determines if the wound will heal or otherwise.

Leave a wound untreated and it starts to fester and may become a gangrene leading to amputation. But the same wound if properly treated and tended to can heal. Of course it will not heal on the spot, the healing occurs over the process of time. So get it straight, time has no magic except to make you age and grow old. What you do in time, over time and with your time is what counts.
Many people die at 25 but don't get buried till they're 85 because they stopped learning and they stopped striving to become better at age 25 or earlier. At some point in their lives they quit aspiring, though they keep adding years to their age, they did not grow any better in the areas of their lives where it mattered.
I've met 50 year old teenagers and 60 year old babies. When we start conversing I know this person is still a teenager or baby even though he or she is a father/mother or grandfather/mother. The passage of time took it effect on their physiological process but not on their mental and intellectual process because they failed to continue learning, dreaming and daring to take on something that stretches them beyond their current capacities.
Like money, time is a neuter. It is neutral, neither good nor bad. Whatever it is or seems to you is a function of how you chose to perceive of it. Time is a seed bed that yields whatever you sow into it. Sow nothing you'll reap nothing. If you decide to do sleep and do nothing over the next 12 months, time will pass of its own accord, and you'd add another year. You'd grow one year older, but you might not have grown wiser or better. Growing older is a natural process, but growing up [growing wiser and better] is something you have to provoke consciously, it doesn’t happen by accident. Whatever 2014 or the next decade or your lifetime will yield for you is what you sow and seed it with. Take my advice: sow wisely! 2014 is tinning out, how is it leaving you? I challenge you to decide to grow consciously, decide to live full and die empty. Set goals, pursue them and achieve them. Choose to live all you were born to be. Fulfill purpose maximize potential. Don't take back with you to the grave all the treasure God imbued you with.
I believe in you and I believe that Africa will never be great until you are great, Nigeria will never be great until you are great, your family and immediate community  will never be great until you are great. Do greatness!

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